The first holiday season after a divorce or separation can place tremendous emotional strain on the best of us. Now that you and your ex have parted ways, the holiday parties and family gatherings you have been celebrating for years as a couple suddenly seem daunting and complicated. Who gets to go to which parties? How do you "share custody" of friendships? What do you say when someone asks why your better half is no longer at your side? It's enough to make an already emotionally fraught season barely tolerable.

When making decisions about parenting time and parental responsibilities during divorce, Illinois judges and courts are primarily concerned with the best interests of children. However, extra care is needed with cases that involve children with special needs. These children often require increased levels of medical care, educational accommodations, and supervision. 

For children whose parents are divorced, child support is an essential part of ensuring they get their needs met by both parents. Illinois law uses a formula to determine payments using the Income Shares method, and payments are generally made from the non-residential parent to the residential parent (or the parent who has the most parenting time). 

As recently as one generation ago, most children had two married parents and grew up in “traditional families.” Regardless of whether they were happy together, parents generally did not get divorced and, as a result, Illinois had fairly rigid child custody laws. 

One of the most important parts of a divorce is the division of marital assets. Spouses are bound by Illinois law to be transparent and forthcoming about their individual and shared finances so they can negotiate fairly and come to an equitable resolution, as required by the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act. 

Divorce is a notoriously challenging experience for everyone involved, especially if one spouse is trying to escape an unhealthy or abusive relationship involving domestic violence. Unfortunately, sometimes a spouse continues unhealthy behaviors by stalking, harassing, or intimidating their future ex. This may be in an effort to manipulate their partner into staying, or it may be an inappropriate effort to monitor and “catch” the partner in misdeeds. 

For most married couples in Illinois, there comes at least one moment during their relationship when they wonder whether staying together is the right choice. Some of these couples have problems that can be solved. They push through their challenges and come out on the other side stronger and more committed to each other. For some couples, however, deciding to end their marriage is irrefutably the right choice. An abusive or dishonest spouse, differing core values, or a gradual process of growing apart make getting divorced the most sensible choice.