While women may be entering the workforce more than ever (and often outearning their spouses in the process), many families still opt to have one parent stay at home while their children are very young. The high cost of childcare, a desire to spend a child’s most tender years together, or a simple lack of available local options may make a stay-at-home parent not only desirable but necessary. 

But there is no question that, especially in unhealthy marriages, a spouse who does not earn an income of her own can be put at a disadvantage when it comes time to divorce. When one or both spouses decide the marriage is at an end, the spouse who has spent the last many years being a full-time parent may feel panic, fear, or confusion about how they will be able to pay for an Illinois divorce. For homemaker spouses getting a divorce, here are five tips that may help you manage your finances more easily. 

Seek Child Support and Spousal Maintenance (Alimony)

Judges are willing to award some spouses interim child support and spousal maintenance, which is alimony while the divorce is ongoing. This can ensure the non-working spouse and the children are not left homeless and hungry before the divorce is finalized. However, spousal maintenance tends not to be awarded as much or for as long as it used to be, so do not depend on long-term spousal maintenance to support yourself after divorce. 

Victims of domestic abuse, whether it be physical or emotional, are often afraid to leave their spouses. Unfortunately, research suggests these concerns are well-founded, as victims tend to be at the greatest risk when they try to end an abusive relationship. In cases like this, victims may wonder if they can file for a divorce on their own, without alerting their spouse first. Fortunately, the answer is yes. If you need help filing for divorce in Illinois and are worried about your spouse finding out, our attorneys can discreetly work with you to protect your privacy. 

Attorney-Client Privilege

Many people have heard about the attorney-client privilege in a courtroom drama TV series or novel, but not many people understand the nature of this highly privileged relationship. The confidence between an attorney and her client is so privileged that an attorney cannot be called to testify against her client in court, even after she no longer represents the client. Attorneys who violate attorney-client privilege can face serious consequences, including disbarment. The attorney-client privilege continues even if the attorney or the client ends their relationship or if either party passes away. An attorney will absolutely not reveal details of her client’s case to the client’s spouse. 

Serving a Spouse Divorce Papers 

Eventually, a spouse will find out about a divorce filing because he or she will need to be served with divorce papers. This happens after the first spouse has completed the necessary paperwork and filed for divorce. If necessary, an attorney can work to time an emergency order of protection with the likely service date of divorce papers so the responding spouse has limited warning and limited opportunity to retaliate against the spouse who filed.

Kids may not be so excited for school to start again in the fall, but parents are usually ready to get back to a routine and get bored, fighting kids out of the house. But the back-to-school ritual takes a lot of preparation and this is especially true when divorced parents are coordinating clothing, school supplies, and after-school plans in two different households. 

While it can be normal to feel some trepidation as you approach the school year for the first time since your Illinois divorce, taking the time to plan ahead can go a long way toward preventing conflict and confusion in the first few days of school. Here are four tips for co-parents getting ready to send kids back to school this fall. 

Start the School Bedtime Schedule Early

Getting up early for school can cause a lot of grumbling, as any parent of school-aged children knows. Although your kids will be reluctant to wake up early just to get ready for the school schedule, start adjusting their wake times at least a week ahead of time. Even better, try to get your ex to join you so your plans do not get completely set back over the weekend. 

Once your divorce was finalized, you probably heaved a huge sigh of relief - while you still have to deal with your ex as you manage your children together, you no longer live under the same roof and deal with your ex’s obnoxious mood swings or annoying habits. Yet you may be surprised by how much time you spend thinking about your ex - if only to make sure that your children are safe in their company. 

For many divorcees, particularly women, the choices their ex makes following a divorce seem clearly not to be in the best interests of the children. Whether it is new partners who regularly come and go or your ex’s “friends” who sit on the couch and smoke marijuana all weekend, you may be wondering whether you can intervene on your kids’ behalf. Here are three things you can do if you are worried about your children’s safety during visitation or parenting time with your ex. 

Get a Sense of What is Really Happening 

While you may find your ex’s decisions during parenting time to be irresponsible or even distasteful, that does not mean they put your children in danger. Doing drugs in front of the kids or inadvertently allowing the kids to access alcohol is a serious situation that requires legal action. Feeding the kids junk food and sleeping in all weekend is not. Without making the kids act as a go-between, make sure you really understand the situation before you take more drastic action. 

Any divorce attorney worth their salt will emphasize the importance of strategically planning for your Illinois divorce. Perhaps the most important phase of the entire divorce process, the planning stage begins with collecting accurate information and setting realistic expectations so you and your Illinois divorce attorney can work together as a team. 

Before doing this, however, you actually need to pick an attorney - and with so many options, it can be overwhelming to choose which one is the best for you. Here is a list of five things you can bring to a divorce consultation to ensure you get the most information out of each meeting. 

Honesty

Perhaps the most important thing you can bring to your divorce consultation is the preparedness to be forthcoming. An attorney can only be helpful insofar as they truly understand your case. Experienced divorce lawyers have already seen the full gamut of reasons people get divorced, so there is no need to feel shame or try to hide facts. Tell the truth and give an attorney a chance to show you how they can help.