Category Archives: Family Law

Hinsdale IL divorce attorneyChildren whose parents are divorcing can have varied reactions to the news of the divorce. Depending on their age and maturity level, they may not understand what a divorce is let alone what it means. Some children react with feelings of guilt, thinking they are the cause of the divorce. Other children may fear that they will lose one or both parents because of the change. As the parent, it is your job to make sure that your child understands the situation so that they can have healthy reactions. Here are three tips you can use to help you tell your children about your divorce:

1. Tailor the Conversation to Your Child’s Level of Understanding

Younger children often do not understand the entire aspect of divorce. Most of the time, all they know is that mommy and daddy are no longer living together. When talking to younger children about your divorce, make sure you use words and concepts that they understand. Your conversation does not have to go into great detail, but it is important that you tell the truth. Older children will probably need a bit more explanation, however, you should avoid disclosing too much information so as to paint the other parent in a bad light.

2. Make Sure It Is the Right Time

It is usually recommended that all children be present when you decide to break the news -- the last thing you would want is for one child to hear the news from another. Also, do not tell your children too early that you are getting a divorce -- if divorce is not certain between you and your spouse, you should not alert your children about the issues.

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Hinsdale IL property divsion lawyerDivorce is financially stressful in virtually all cases. Many American families rely on two incomes to make ends meet. When you divorce, your income is reduced to your income alone, which can mean big changes for your lifestyle. In addition to having your income reduced, your expenses also tend to increase.

It is not impossible to achieve financial security after your divorce, but it can be difficult without taking the proper steps. Here are five ways you can take care of your finances after your Illinois divorce:

1. Take Inventory of Your Finances

When you are married, your finances become intertwined. The first thing you should do after your divorce is to take an inventory of your assets, liabilities, income and expenses. This will help you know where you stand when you move on to step two.

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Does Cohabitation Before Marriage Lead to Divorce?Up until the 1990s, social researchers associated premarital cohabitation with higher rates of divorce. Both cohabitation and divorce were less socially accepted at the time, and conventional wisdom said that people who committed the taboo of cohabitation would be more willing to commit the taboo of divorce. Society’s views on cohabitation have softened in recent decades, and some divorce studies have concluded that cohabitation can decrease the likelihood of divorce. However, researchers lack a consensus on the effects of cohabitation before marriage.

Normalization

Cohabitation has become more common for younger couples because:

  • There is less stigma about premarital sex;
  • More people are waiting until they are older before they get married;
  • Some couples do not think marriage is important in their relationship; and
  • Living alone in urban areas is expensive.

A larger sample size makes it less likely that outliers will skew the final results. With cohabitation becoming more normal, the divorce rates for people who lived together before marriage should more closely resemble the average divorce rate.

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Hinsdale IL divorce attorneyThere are many ways you can go about getting divorced. There is divorce mediation, collaborative divorce, even a do-it-yourself divorce - but the most common process couples decide to go with when getting a divorce remains to be a litigated divorce.

With a litigated divorce, both spouses hire lawyers to give them legal advice and help them hash out issues. While many litigated divorces do not always use a judge decide such issues, you must always appear in court to have your divorce finalized.

Certain rules of etiquette should be followed in court. Try to avoid making these mistakes when you go to court during your divorce:

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Why Fathers Can Be Less Happy, Healthy After DivorceStudies have shown that divorced fathers have higher rates of depression and suicide than divorced mothers. They are less likely to regularly seek medical attention and more likely to participate in risky behavior, such as substance abuse and unprotected sex. These facts should not dissuade fathers from ending a bad marriage, which also has a negative effect on their health and quality of life. They show that many fathers need to do more to preserve their happiness and health after their divorces.

Parental Rights

Fathers often feel discouraged or defeated after a divorce because they received fewer parental responsibilities than the mother. Though Illinois parenting laws are gender neutral, courts and divorcees have an unspoken presumption that the mother will be the children’s primary caregiver. Fathers feel frustrated that the divorce system is biased against them and does not equally value them as parents. You can have a better divorce experience as a father:

  • Do not simply concede a majority of the parental responsibilities if you believe you are an equally qualified parent;
  • Fight for as much parenting time and decision-making powers as you can receive, even if it is not a majority;
  • Make sure that your parenting schedule allows you to maximize your time with your children; and
  • Show the court and your wife that your responsibilities as a father are important to you and your children.

Support System

Men are generally less likely to seek help when they feel depressed and lonely. The male identity includes not showing signs of emotional weakness. Wives and children are often the only sources of emotional support that men feel comfortable opening up to. When both are gone, a father may respond to his negative emotions by becoming withdrawn and less concerned about his health. You can fight this response by:

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