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After a divorce, your spouse will eventually move on. Whether they enter into a long-term, committed relationship or they remarry, sooner or later, someone new will come into their life. This thought is painful for many exes to cope with, for obvious reasons. On your wedding day, you imagine that person being with you, and no one else, for the rest of your life. Even though the divorce is final, there is still a part of most spouses that feel a little emotional when this happens.
Without a doubt, these feelings intensify when children become involved. Not only is the newcomer involved in your ex’s life, but they are also becoming involved in the lives of your children. As parents, we become protective by nature; but there is a fine line between being protective and being possessive. For a quick resolution, try these tips if you are finding interactions difficult with your ex’s new significant other.
An excellent place to start is to find some common ground. Even if they are a high-powered professional and you are more laid-back, there is always something on which you can both agree. Maybe you both like the beach, hiking, or have a mutual love of bread. Keep trying. If all else fails, you always have the kids and your ex in common.
Try to meet each other halfway when it comes to parenting schedules and parenting duties. Remember, we all have diverse talents, preferences, and plans. Maybe you can adjust your schedule to accommodate doctors appointments, but the new spouse is good at organizing school functions. Play to each other’s strengths so that the children might benefit from each person.
There will be days where it is as impossible to talk to your ex’s new beau as it was to speak to your ex. When frustration or anger arises, do not vent to the children. Instead, lean on your friends and other family members that have been there for you throughout the divorce. If no one is available, hire a therapist. You need an outlet to share your frustrations, but your children need your stability and reassurance that everything is okay.
The transition after divorce is difficult for everyone involved. We hope that by using these tips, a helpful solution can be reached for all parties. If there is still tension, you may consider the option of modifying the divorce agreement. A Hinsdale family law attorney can help. The experienced lawyers at the Law Office of Martoccio & Martoccio have helped countless clients find the solution they need that ultimately benefits all involved parties. Find out how we can help. Call us today to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation with our office by calling 630-920-8855.