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Marriage is difficult, no doubt about it. American marriages tend to be doomed from the very beginning. With divorce rates as high as 3.6 percent per 1,000 per capita (44 states reporting, including Washington, D.C.), those entering into the bonds of matrimony may find themselves facing a continual uphill battle. Often, to make matters even worse, many couples tend to remain in failed marriages for all the wrong reasons.
In a recent article, Mel Schwartz, L.C.S.W., a psychotherapist, marriage counselor, motivational speaker and author, posed the question, “Are you staying married for all the wrong reasons?” to couples struggling with their marriage. Schwarz discusses the main factors why many couples fend off divorce and remain married, but often with an incredible rate of disappointment accompanied by feelings of writhing failure.
As many couples ultimately psychologically and emotionally remove themselves from the marriage, it is often the compounded fear of divorce that keeps the marriage intact. Schwartz believes that by taking a sincere inventory to awaken the waning relationship and to live life to its fullest is the solution but the dilemma continues supported by the fear of the unknown. To delve further into this dilemma affecting so many couples, Schwartz further explores the following two areas:
Conquering Your Fear
Schwartz believes that fear, any form of facing the unknown is the primary reason we as humans tend to stunt our own intellectual and emotional growth. Even the word divorce can evoke heightened levels of fear-induced anxiety and prohibits strong and open lines of communication between couples. Troubled marriages often produce lack of intimacy, respect and passion accompanied by the fear of facing a lifetime without a partner, no matter how dire the circumstances. Schwartz also surmises that perhaps couples drowning in fear will not even consider divorce and resign themselves to a life without hope.
Leaving a Legacy of Failure
For those couples who remain together for the “sake of the children”, Schwartz poses another profound question, “Is this the type of legacy you want to leave your children”?
Schwartz believes that often even the connotation of divorce can trigger emotional and psychological issues to the children involved as study after study indicates. As Schwartz further evaluates this situation, he concludes that although divorce should not be taken lightly, keeping a marriage intact riddled with anxiety can also adversely affect children well into adulthood and at what cost?
For whatever the reason, if you have decided to conquer your fear of divorce, the experienced Hinsdale family law attorneys of Martoccio & Martoccio can help. With over 75 years of combined legal experience, our legal team can offer you a free consultation and expedite your quest to a fear-free life. Contact us at 630-920-8855 today.
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