Four Questions to Ask Yourself When Considering Divorce
Thoughts of divorce are natural when you feel your marriage is depriving you of your happiness. However, you should evaluate the reasons you want a divorce before making a decision. Getting a divorce can be a contentious and expensive process. You will lose some valuable assets as part of the division of property. There will be a grieving process for yourself and your children. Here are four questions you can ask yourself when deciding whether to divorce:
- How Are You and Your Spouse Communicating?: Frequently getting into arguments with your spouse is an obvious sign that you are not getting along. The conflict may become untenable if you are incapable of having a civil conversation or coming to a reasonable agreement. However, a lack of communication can be just as bad as fighting. You may be avoiding substantive discussions with each other because you believe they will lead to arguments.
- What First Comes to Mind When Thinking About Your Spouse?: You can disagree with your spouse but still feel love and respect for him or her when you have calmed down. There may be a deeper problem with your marriage if you instinctively think about your spouse in negative terms. You are quick to find flaws because you are looking for a reason to be angry at him or her.
- Are Your Arguments Getting Personal?: There is a difference between disagreeing with each other and blaming each other. In a disagreement, you are arguing about the substance of the issue, which may eventually lead to mutual understanding and a compromise. When blaming each other, the arguments are personal attacks against each other. Compromise becomes unlikely because the argument is now about your egos.
- How Has Your Behavior Changed?: Being in a contentious marriage can affect how you act in other parts of your life. You may be more irritable and prone to arguments with others. You may consistently feel angry, depressed, or stressed. It can be easy to ignore these behavior changes and not realize that your marriage is contributing to them. When you do identify that your behavior has changed, you must determine whether you can heal yourself while maintaining your marriage.
Making a Decision
If your answers to these questions all point towards divorce, you still must consider whether you want to reconcile with your spouse. Once you have started with the divorce process, it is rare to be able to save your marriage. A Kane County divorce attorney at Geneva Family Lawyers can explain the divorce process and potential benefits for yourself. Schedule a free consultation by calling 331-588-6611.