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The courts in Illinois rarely grant either parent sole custody and parenting time. This is due to the fact that the courts will base their decision according to the child’s best interests. The courts believe that spending time with both parents, preferably as equally as possible, is best for the child. As such, it is important that spouses think about how they are going to co-parent even before their divorce is final.
When a judge sees that the parents are willing to cooperate with each other, they are more likely to award each spouse parenting time as fairly as possible. If the spouses end up going through mediation, learning how to co-parent effectively is especially important because the spouses will be responsible for creating a parenting plan together. If you are going through a divorce and there are children involved, below are some tips that can help you co-parent effectively.
No child should ever feel as though they are forced to choose between their own parents after a divorce. One of the best ways to avoid this is to always speak respectfully about your ex-spouse. This is true not only when you are speaking directly to your child, or to your ex, but also when speaking to anyone when your child can overhear, such as when you are on the phone with a friend.
It is important to speak respectfully about your ex, but it is just as important to speak respectfully to your ex. Arguing with each other will only add stress to the relationship, and that is stress that the children will feel. Keeping things professional and business-like will help keep your communications with your ex-spouse civil, which will help your children in the long run.
It is true that after a divorce, your child will likely spend time in two different homes. That does not mean, however, that they should live with two different sets of rules. Both spouses should work together to create ground rules that will be in place in both homes. Children thrive under consistency and knowing what they can expect when going to any home can help them through the process of divorce. Additionally, having consistency in place will mean there is less room for the child to play you and your ex against each other, which can make it easier to remain respectful to your ex.
Learning how to co-parent with your ex-spouse is important to ensure your child’s health and happiness. It is just as important to your child custody matters. When a judge sees that two parents are willing to work together, they are less likely to favor one side over the other and more likely to issue a child custody order that is equally fair to both sides. If you need help negotiating a parenting plan with your ex, or with any other aspect of your child custody hearings, our skilled Hinsdale child custody lawyers at the Law Office of Martoccio & Martoccio can help. Call us today at 630-920-8855 to schedule your free consultation.