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The statistics that over 50 percent of marriages in the United States today end in divorce are grim, to say the least. The fact that the number is repeatedly brought to the forefront of our thoughts eventually has each of us questioning the stability of our relationship, regardless of the current situation. Once you start second-guessing, you begin to ponder and fret over every conversation and missed phone call. These are a few indicators of difficulty in a marriage which may require your immediate attention.
Failure to Discuss Even Life-Altering Decisions
The thought of surprising your wife with a car for her birthday is romantic, but unless you have previously discussed the finances around a vehicle purchase, making a five-year financial commitment is something to consider jointly before making the leap. A general rule of thumb is if you used to explain every household decision and you find yourself or your spouse making them alone without regard to the other person, something needs addressing.
Maintenance of a Contribution Chart
When relationships first begin, each partner gives incredibly openly without regard to ever seeing anything in return. When both sides continuously give, neither side feels slighted. However, life happens, and stress levels rise, leading to a slow down of the “give” and necessitating the “take.” If there is too much “take” on one side, the other spouse begins to feel slighted, potentially making some mental scorecard of how much each person contributes to the shared life. This kind of comparison is detrimental to any healthy relationship.
Separation of Goals and Lives
Although it is healthy to maintain some independence, there should also be shared commonalities. You are a partnership meant to help each other through the hard times. If you find that you are both leading separate lives that do not often intermingle, you may consider broaching the subject with your spouse.
You and your spouse used to talk endlessly for hours about your hopes, dreams, and fears. You discussed everything from the weather to the meaning of life. If you both hardly speak to each other, leaving you left to try to find communication with someone, anyone else, it may be time for a heart-to-heart reality check.
Loss of Motivation to Try
Sometimes, after years of being left in a rut, some spouses just give up. They have tried everything they can think of, seen various therapists, and there simply is no change. Spouses want more from life, they want to feel the fire and the passion they once felt, but there is no hope in the current situation. If you would like to discuss your situation with a DuPage County, IL divorce attorney, contact the Law Office of Martoccio & Martoccio today. We understand that this is a difficult decision to make but perhaps want a few questions answered. We offer you a free, obligation-free consultation simply by calling 630-920-8855 today.