Preparing Yourself Before Dating After Divorce

Preparing Yourself Before Dating After DivorceIf your divorce has not turned you off to relationships altogether, you may eventually feel the urge to start dating again. A new relationship can be healthy and give you a type of happiness that you have missed ever since your marriage fell apart. However, entering an ill-advised relationship can hurt you if:

  • You are re-experiencing the relationship conflicts from your marriage;
  • You wasted the money you earned from your divorce settlement; or
  • Your behavior during the relationship becomes a reason to question your parental fitness.

You should honestly assess whether you are ready before starting to date again following divorce, even if it means passing on enticing relationships.

Your Recovery

You must reconcile with your emotions from your marriage before you are prepared to dedicate yourself to a new relationship. However, your emotional recovery will likely continue after your divorce has finished. You have not moved past your previous marriage if it still dominates your thoughts and causes fits of anger or depression. You need to reach a state of acceptance that the reasons for your divorce are no longer important. The process can take months to years.

Your Motivation

You can cause difficulties in your new relationship if you do not understand what you are looking. Divorcees who are not emotionally ready for a serious relationship may still feel driven to start dating because they are lonely, bored, or in need of sexual release. Only you can decide whether dating for those reasons is appropriate, but you should make your intentions clear to the person you are dating. You should also be careful about impulsive relationships because your decisions may lack good judgment.

Your Responsibilities

Even if you are emotionally prepared to start dating, you must assess whether you have the time to devote yourself to a relationship. Your list of personal responsibilities can increase after your divorce, including:

  • Being a single parent;
  • Budgeting your individual finances;
  • Adjusting to a new home environment; and
  • Career changes or advancements in order to become more self-supporting.

These responsibilities take precedence over starting a new relationship. You may need to wait until your life has stabilized.

Dating After Divorce

Rushing into a new relationship following your divorce can harm the important provisions you worked for in your divorce settlement. A court may even reduce your parental responsibilities if you behave irresponsibly or in a way that endangers your children. A Kane County divorce attorney at Geneva Family Lawyers can inform you about how your actions and behavior can affect existing divorce and parenting agreements. Schedule a free consultation by calling 331-588-6611.


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