Tag Archives: child of divorce

Hinsdale divorce lawyerMany people think that divorce only affects children when they are young and still living at home. In reality, it is difficult for children of any age to hear that their parents are getting a divorce. Adult children whose parents are getting a divorce also feel a sense of loss and sadness.

Typically those who have adult children have been married for years, and these kinds of divorces can be the most difficult because they have more history. It is important to remember that your children -- even if they are adults -- also need the love and support that would be given to younger children. Here are a few ways you can help your adult children deal with a divorce:

Wait until the Whole Family Is Together

Timing is everything and telling your adult children about your divorce is no exception to the rule. It is usually advisable to tell all children at the same time about the divorce. Schedule a family gathering during a time that works for everyone to break the news. The last thing you want is for one child to hear about the news from another child.

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Hinsdale IL divorce attorneyChildren whose parents are divorcing can have varied reactions to the news of the divorce. Depending on their age and maturity level, they may not understand what a divorce is let alone what it means. Some children react with feelings of guilt, thinking they are the cause of the divorce. Other children may fear that they will lose one or both parents because of the change. As the parent, it is your job to make sure that your child understands the situation so that they can have healthy reactions. Here are three tips you can use to help you tell your children about your divorce:

1. Tailor the Conversation to Your Child’s Level of Understanding

Younger children often do not understand the entire aspect of divorce. Most of the time, all they know is that mommy and daddy are no longer living together. When talking to younger children about your divorce, make sure you use words and concepts that they understand. Your conversation does not have to go into great detail, but it is important that you tell the truth. Older children will probably need a bit more explanation, however, you should avoid disclosing too much information so as to paint the other parent in a bad light.

2. Make Sure It Is the Right Time

It is usually recommended that all children be present when you decide to break the news -- the last thing you would want is for one child to hear the news from another. Also, do not tell your children too early that you are getting a divorce -- if divorce is not certain between you and your spouse, you should not alert your children about the issues.

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Hinsdale IL divorce attorneyChildren, especially, can have a difficult time with divorce. Divorce brings much uncertainty into the lives of everyone in the family, and children, who thrive off of stability, can be affected much more strongly than others. There are things you can do to help alleviate some of the stress your children have because of the divorce. Here are five ways you can help your children cope with this big change in their lives:

1. Explain the Divorce to Your Children in Terms They Can Understand

Children’s understanding of divorce will vary based on their age and maturity level. Younger children will need to be explained to in simple, yet truthful terms about the divorce. The conversation can be as simple as telling your children that mommy and daddy no longer want to fight all the time, so they will be living in different houses. Older children will usually require a more explanatory response, but you should be careful to reveal too much information as your children do not need to hear about your marital problems.

2. Encourage Conversation about Their Feelings

You should tell your children that it is normal for them to feel sad or angry about the divorce. You will have your own feelings about the divorce, and it is important for your children to be able to have theirs. Allowing your children to talk about their feelings will allow them to progress through the grieving process.

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child custody, child visitation, DuPage County child visitation lawyer, Martoccio & Martoccio, parental alienation, child of divorce, refuse child visitation, parent visitation, Illinois custody caseCan I refuse or stop the other parent's visitation when no court order for visitation has been entered by an Illinois judge or administrative hearing officer?

When a court order has yet to be entered to grant visitation to the other parent, then the custodial parent or the parent in possession of the child can simply deny the other parent visitation, correct?

Yes, that is true. However, that is not the whole story. Even when a court order does not exist for visitation by the other parent, and if the parent having the child denies visitation over an extended period of time, this may give rise to a claim that he or she is interfering with the other parent's relationship with the child, sometimes called "parental alienation." This could be a basis for the visiting parent to ask for custody of the child if the child's custody has not been established by court order.

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child custody, Illinois, divorce, children of divorce, Illinois child custody lawyerDivorce is never an easy process. Spouses who have decided to go through with a divorce cite reasons including infidelity, finances, or just plain old irreconcilable differences. Whatever the reason for the split, the effect of the divorce is rarely felt solely by those that call each other spouse. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry states that one in two marriages today end in divorce, many of them being families that include children. Unavoidably, this brings up the unpleasant issue of child custody. Unfortunately, sometimes this topic is used as a weapon in one spouse’s attempt to harm the other. When parents cannot agree on where the children will live, courts refer to statutes and case law for guidance.

Custody Awarded Under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act

 Child custody proceedings are automatically commenced when a parent files a petition for dissolution of marriage, legal separation, declaration of invalidity of marriage, or simply a petition for custody. A stepparent or a grandparent can also start child custody proceedings in very specific circumstances, usually involving the incapacity or death of the custodial parent.

 The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act identifies factors affecting the award of child custody. When the court decides custody, they will make a determination to serve the best interests of the child. Relevant factors that the court takes into consideration include the wishes of the child’s parents, the wishes of the child, the child’s interactions, the child’s adjustment, the parties’ health, the presence of violence or abuse, and the parties’ cooperation.

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