Tag Archives: children and divorce

Il family lawyerDivorce is hard on adults. Just think how difficult it is for children, who rarely understand why their parents are separating, do not have any say in where they live or what their new lives will entail, and whose entire life schedules and normal routines are disrupted every few days or weeks when they go to stay with their other parent. As a mother or father, you can make this difficult process easier on them. The months that divorce takes will be a challenge, but you have the ability to minimize the stress and anxiety that your children experience during this time.

Refrain from Bad Mouthing the Other Parent in Front of Your Children

Children are more likely to identify with the parent that is the same gender as they are. Sons will identify with fathers, and daughters will identify with mothers. As such, if a father says to his daughter, “I hope you don’t end up being like your mother,” or makes some other crude or disrespectful comment in front of his daughter, his daughter may internalize that and her emotional development will be delayed or impaired. Even saying something negative about a son’s mother, who is a different gender than him, has a negative effect on the child. It may be tempting to bad mouth or grumble about the other parent, but this can have serious consequences on your child’s emotional and psychological state of mind.

Keeping Conflict Away from Your Children, Communication, and Maintaining a Relationship with Both Parents

Even discluding court appearances and mediation, divorce is filled with conflict between the two spouses. Children pick up on the most subtle derogatory comments just as easily as a shouting argument. Exposure to any type of conflict increases the child’s risk of developing psychological and social problems, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Parents should consider doing the following:

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DuPage County family law attorneyAs remarriage after divorce has become increasingly common, more blended families or stepfamilies have emerged. According to the United States Census Bureau, over half of all American families were divorced and remarried or recoupled in 2010, which was the last major census year. Nearly 4 million children were living in a blended family or stepfamily in 2010.

All families face their own challenges, but stepfamilies have a unique set of challenges that can be hard to overcome. Here are a few tips you can follow in order to make your experience in a blended family a good one:

1. Make Sure You Plan Accordingly

Stepfamilies do not form overnight. Ending one marriage and entering another can take months, if not years. You have plenty of time to think through logistics. Before you get remarried, you should make sure that your parenting plan from your previous marriage is sound and acknowledges that you are getting remarried. You should also make sure that if you are marrying a spouse who also has children from a previous marriage that he or she has planned as well.

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IL divorce lawyerWhen a married couple decides to get divorced, their largest concern is usually related to their children. They likely worry about how the end of their marriage will impact their children and hope that their children can adapt to a new lifestyle with minimal issues.

In addition, divorcing parents wonder how to break the news of their divorce to their children. If you are getting divorced and are unsure of how to tell your children, these tips are sure to help.

Tell Children Together

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IL divorce lawyerMost people believe that divorce has a negative effect on children. While divorce can be difficult for them, it can also teach them valuable lessons and set them up for a happy and successful future. Here are five ways children can benefit from divorce:

1. Self Sufficiency

Children in divorced families are often more self-sufficient. Since it can be a challenge for single parents to complete all of their household chores, they often ask their children for help. This teaches them how to care for their home and themselves and they become more responsible as a result.

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IL divorce lawyerIf you are not getting along with your spouse and believe your marriage is unhealthy, you may be wondering whether you should avoid a divorce and stay married for your children. Contrary to popular belief, staying together for the kids is not a wise move. Let’s take a closer look at some of the reasons staying married for your kids can do more harm than good.

1. Children May Face Resentment

Staying in an unhappy marriage may cause resentment. Your children may feel like they need to take one parent’s side over the other and experience a great deal of stress and anxiety. Even if you attempt to hide your marriage problems, your children will eventually notice the way you interact with your spouse. They may blame themselves for your issues and face guilt, low self-esteem, and resentment.

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