Tag Archives: children and divorce

IL divorce lawyerMost people believe that divorce has a negative effect on children. While divorce can be difficult for them, it can also teach them valuable lessons and set them up for a happy and successful future. Here are five ways children can benefit from divorce:

1. Self Sufficiency

Children in divorced families are often more self-sufficient. Since it can be a challenge for single parents to complete all of their household chores, they often ask their children for help. This teaches them how to care for their home and themselves and they become more responsible as a result.

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IL divorce lawyerIf you are not getting along with your spouse and believe your marriage is unhealthy, you may be wondering whether you should avoid a divorce and stay married for your children. Contrary to popular belief, staying together for the kids is not a wise move. Let’s take a closer look at some of the reasons staying married for your kids can do more harm than good.

1. Children May Face Resentment

Staying in an unhappy marriage may cause resentment. Your children may feel like they need to take one parent’s side over the other and experience a great deal of stress and anxiety. Even if you attempt to hide your marriage problems, your children will eventually notice the way you interact with your spouse. They may blame themselves for your issues and face guilt, low self-esteem, and resentment.

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IL divorce lawyerThe divorce process can be stressful, expensive, and take up a great deal of your time. If you have children, you should know that there are a variety of ways you can become a better parent after divorce. Here are some tips to help you out:

1. Make Time for Your Children

It can be difficult to adjust to a new life after a divorce. While you are adjusting, be sure to make time for your children. Their needs should be your top priority so even if you are busy, taking them out for ice cream, reading a bedtime story, or helping with homework can make your children feel cared for and loved.

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Illinois family lawyerDivorce can be difficult for children. Living in two households, watching parents date and remarry, and getting introduced to step-siblings and half-siblings are several of the many changes divorce can bring to your children’s lives.

Fortunately, there are ways you can help your children live a high quality of life despite any changes your divorce may bring. You can start by making an effort to avoid the following 4 common parenting mistakes during divorce:

1. Forcing Your Children to Be Messengers

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Illinois divorce lawyerThe end of a relationship is difficult for everyone involved, but when parents end their marriage in divorce, children are often the ones who have the hardest time. Divorce will bring a great deal of upheaval to their lives as they adjust to new schedules, split their lives between two households, and try to understand changing relationships between family members.

As you work to provide the best possible environment for your children following your divorce, you will want to be sure you are considering their needs and providing them with love and support. Here are some valuable tips for helping your children get through this difficult time:

  • Be honest - Children are sure to have a lot of questions about why you and your spouse divorced, and you should try to answer their questions honestly while keeping your answers age-appropriate. Encourage them to discuss their feelings about the divorce with you and let them know that it is okay to feel sad or angry.
  • Offer reassurance - Children often worry that they may have been the cause of the divorce, so it is important to reassure them that your divorce was not their fault in any way while helping them understand that you will always love them and be there for them.
  • Provide consistency - It is important for children to have a regular routine in their daily lives. Reliably following your parenting time schedule and sticking to a consistent plan for bed times and mealtimes will give them the stability they need.
  • Provide them with quality time - Make the most of the time you spend with your children and be involved in their lives. Encourage them to share their interests with you and offer them love and support.
  • Cooperate with your ex-spouse - You and your former partner share the goal of raising your children in a loving, positive environment, so it is best to try to be flexible and accommodating to each other’s needs. If your work schedule or your children’s schedules for school and activities change, work together with the other parent to modify pickup and drop-off times as needed.

Never involve children in conflicts - You are likely to have disagreements with your ex-spouse, but you should do your best to keep your kids from being caught in the middle. Do not send messages to your ex-spouse through your children, and avoid disparaging your ex-spouse in your kids’ presence.

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