Tag Archives: co-parenting

IL divorce lawyerDivorce is not for everyone and today, couples have many options. One that is becoming more common is a parenting marriage. In a parenting marriage, the couple involved are no longer romantic with each other. However, they do not want to get a divorce and instead, want to redefine their relationship to each other. Although the marital relationship has changed, many things remain the same in a parenting marriage. The couple often lives in the same home albeit in different rooms, and they each have equal responsibilities for raising the children.

While a parenting marriage can simplify the process of ending a romantic relationship, it does come with many unique issues. It is still important to speak to a family lawyer that can help prevent disputes from arising.

Why Do People Choose a Parenting Marriage?

The idea of parenting marriages is quite new, but there are several reasons why couples choose this route when they know they no longer love each other romantically. The most common of these include:

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Il divorce lawyerGetting a divorce is a stressful and confusing time. Without knowing what to expect, you could end up in a lengthy court battle, and spend way more than you have to. If you are considering divorce, or the process has already started, check out the eight tips below that can help you get through it.

Forget Fault

Illinois is a no-fault divorce state, which means neither of you has to prove drunkenness, infidelity, or any other type of fault. If possible, it is important not to focus on who was at fault, as this can lengthen the divorce and will make the process more challenging and stressful.

Agree Whenever Possible

No one expects anyone going through a divorce to be agreeable all of the time. However, it is important to know which battles to fight, and which ones to avoid. Determine what is most important to you and hold firm on those terms while compromising on the rest.

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Il family lawyerDivorce is hard on adults. Just think how difficult it is for children, who rarely understand why their parents are separating, do not have any say in where they live or what their new lives will entail, and whose entire life schedules and normal routines are disrupted every few days or weeks when they go to stay with their other parent. As a mother or father, you can make this difficult process easier on them. The months that divorce takes will be a challenge, but you have the ability to minimize the stress and anxiety that your children experience during this time.

Refrain from Bad Mouthing the Other Parent in Front of Your Children

Children are more likely to identify with the parent that is the same gender as they are. Sons will identify with fathers, and daughters will identify with mothers. As such, if a father says to his daughter, “I hope you don’t end up being like your mother,” or makes some other crude or disrespectful comment in front of his daughter, his daughter may internalize that and her emotional development will be delayed or impaired. Even saying something negative about a son’s mother, who is a different gender than him, has a negative effect on the child. It may be tempting to bad mouth or grumble about the other parent, but this can have serious consequences on your child’s emotional and psychological state of mind.

Keeping Conflict Away from Your Children, Communication, and Maintaining a Relationship with Both Parents

Even discluding court appearances and mediation, divorce is filled with conflict between the two spouses. Children pick up on the most subtle derogatory comments just as easily as a shouting argument. Exposure to any type of conflict increases the child’s risk of developing psychological and social problems, according to the American Psychological Association (APA). Parents should consider doing the following:

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DupageIn some divorces, the completion of the divorce is the last time that the couple will have to talk or communicate with each other. Once you have gone your own ways, there is no need to have anything to do with each other again.

If you have children, divorce can become a little bit more complicated. Having children with someone means that you will forever be bound to that person because you share a child or children in common.

Even though you may still have feelings of anger or hurt against your ex-spouse, it is important that you put those feelings aside for the sake of your children. Co-parenting takes a great deal of cooperation and compromise. Here are five tips to help practice successful co-parenting after a divorce:

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Illinois divorce lawyer, Illinois family law attorneyStudies prove that 50 percent of all American children will experience the divorce of their parents before reaching 18 years of age. It is also estimated that these children will also witness the breakdown of a parent’s second marriage.

Furthermore, the emotional and physical repercussions can be discouraging. On a psychological basis, studies demonstrate that children of divorce may:

  • Exhibit poor school performance,
  • Require the assistance of a psychologist, and
  • Experience a higher rate of emotional or psychological issues.

With regard to physical implications, children of divorce may experience an increase in health-related problems such as a higher propensity to injuries, asthma, and headaches. Studies also reveal that children in single-parent, troubled households are subject to higher rates of physical harm or even death.

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