Tag Archives: co-parenting issues

IL family lawyerParenting plans outline the arrangements for child custody agreements and dictate when each divorced parent of a child spends time with their children. Parenting plans are often agreements that are negotiated between the two spouses, although sometimes they are court-ordered arrangements. Regardless of how a couple arrived at a parenting plan, there are some common issues surrounding these agreements. Below are the five most common issues, and how to prevent them.

Being Late for Pick-Ups and Drop-Offs

Sometimes parents run into unexpected circumstances, such as heavy traffic, when dropping off their child or picking their child up at the other parent’s home. While being late for an arranged pick-up or drop-off on occasion is not a call for concern, behaving in this way regularly may indicate a lack of respect for your ex’s time. It is always advised to try and be prompt for all pick-ups and drop-offs to avoid unnecessary disputes.

Canceling Plans Without Notice

Like being late for pick-ups and drop-offs, you may have to cancel plans that affect your parenting plan from time to time. While canceling plans may be necessary from time to time, try not to do it too often. It places a strain on your former spouse, as they will have to make different arrangements to ensure the child is supervised and cared for. If you must cancel your allotted parenting time, try to provide your former spouse with as much notice as possible.

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IL divorce lawyerThe courts in Illinois rarely grant either parent sole custody and parenting time. This is due to the fact that the courts will base their decision according to the child’s best interests. The courts believe that spending time with both parents, preferably as equally as possible, is best for the child. As such, it is important that spouses think about how they are going to co-parent even before their divorce is final.

When a judge sees that the parents are willing to cooperate with each other, they are more likely to award each spouse parenting time as fairly as possible. If the spouses end up going through mediation, learning how to co-parent effectively is especially important because the spouses will be responsible for creating a parenting plan together. If you are going through a divorce and there are children involved, below are some tips that can help you co-parent effectively.

Remain Respectful About Your Ex

No child should ever feel as though they are forced to choose between their own parents after a divorce. One of the best ways to avoid this is to always speak respectfully about your ex-spouse. This is true not only when you are speaking directly to your child, or to your ex, but also when speaking to anyone when your child can overhear, such as when you are on the phone with a friend.

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IL family lawyerAfter a divorce, your spouse will eventually move on. Whether they enter into a long-term, committed relationship or they remarry, sooner or later, someone new will come into their life. This thought is painful for many exes to cope with, for obvious reasons. On your wedding day, you imagine that person being with you, and no one else, for the rest of your life. Even though the divorce is final, there is still a part of most spouses that feel a little emotional when this happens.

Without a doubt, these feelings intensify when children become involved. Not only is the newcomer involved in your ex’s life, but they are also becoming involved in the lives of your children. As parents, we become protective by nature; but there is a fine line between being protective and being possessive. For a quick resolution, try these tips if you are finding interactions difficult with your ex’s new significant other.

Find Common Ground

An excellent place to start is to find some common ground. Even if they are a high-powered professional and you are more laid-back, there is always something on which you can both agree. Maybe you both like the beach, hiking, or have a mutual love of bread. Keep trying. If all else fails, you always have the kids and your ex in common.

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 IL divorce lawyerCo-parenting with a narcissist is a real challenge. If you have children with a narcissist you divorced, know that there are ways you can make co-parenting a bit easier. Here are some tips that can help you put your child’s needs first and make the best of this difficult situation.

Have Realistic Expectations

It’s essential to accept the fact that narcissists rarely change. Therefore, you should not expect your co-parent to suddenly become empathetic or be content with not having emotional control. By having realistic expectations, you won’t be as disappointed when your ex-spouse creates drama and stress.

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