Many people think that divorce only affects children when they are young and still living at home. In reality, it is difficult for children of any age to hear that their parents are getting a divorce. Adult children whose parents are getting a divorce also feel a sense of loss and sadness. 

Typically those who have adult children have been married for years, and these kinds of divorces can be the most difficult because they have more history. It is important to remember that your children -- even if they are adults -- also need the love and support that would be given to younger children. Here are a few ways you can help your adult children deal with a divorce:

Wait until the Whole Family Is Together

Timing is everything and telling your adult children about your divorce is no exception to the rule. It is usually advisable to tell all children at the same time about the divorce. Schedule a family gathering during a time that works for everyone to break the news. The last thing you want is for one child to hear about the news from another child.

Read your divorce agreement.

That's right - thoroughly completely and more than once, read your own divorce agreement. It is the future roadmap of your life after your divorce. The more money you have the more important it is for you personally to read each and every page of your divorce agreement. Don’t rely on some else, even your attorney.

If you are involved in a disputed child custody or visitation case in Illinois, odds are there will be a Guardian ad Litem appointed for your child.

The Guardian ad Litem or "GAL" is a Court appointed attorney who will investigate the claims that you (or any other parent/interested party) make regarding the child's custody and visitation, as well as accusations of physical or mental abuse of your child by a parent or third-party.

Listed below are important facts to keep in mind when you speak to the Guardian ad Litem.

As an ongoing project of the Illinois State Archives and the Illinois Genealogical Society, those interested in researching the civil unions of their ancestors can visit the homepage of the Illinois Secretary of State to view marriage records as far back as 1763. Although it appears that the concept of marriage has always been alive and well throughout the ages, it does leave one wondering how many of these marriages either dissolved in some form of divorce or lasted a lifetime until death do they part? The latter is most likely the correct assumption.

In the 1700’s and even more so in the earlier days of man, women feared what could happen if they dared to escape their marital bonds as the cost was high. During this time, the wife, as well as all children, were considered the inherent property of the husband and if scorned, the women could be left desolate. Often the wife’s family would also distance themselves from her plight as they would side with the husband’s side of the family either to safeguard relationships with grandchildren or they were financially beholden to the husband. The vast majority of these wandering women were lost to prostitution, starvation, or death by their own hand.

These dire circumstances could be avoided and a divorce or annulment granted if it could be proven to the courts that either the husband or wife committed adultery or if the marriage was not consummated.

Often when there is a hint that a marriage may be heading toward divorce, one or both spouses may suggest several sessions with a marriage counselor. For better or worse, working with a marriage counselor may be advantageous but some experts hold a different position as to the benefits of this type of counseling and how it affects the marriage overall.

Studies on the benefits of marriage counseling, dating as far back as 1987 with numerous studies conducted in decades thereafter, suggested that although couples retained most of what they learned through counseling only experienced improvements in the marriage for up to one year and with multiple relapses, ultimately leading to divorce.

To delve further into the question of if marriage counseling can save or hinder a marriage, licensed marriage and family therapist Marianne Clyde of the Marianne Clyde Center for holistic psychotherapy expressed her views. Clyde’s answer to the question of the benefits of marriage counseling is simple, it all depends.