Tag Archives: divorce agreement

Geneva divorce attorneyFrequently couples who are seeking a divorce try to make their own agreements. Sometimes it works and sometimes it degenerates into argument after argument.

If you’ve practiced divorce long enough you know that people frequently come very close to making a final agreement and then everything blows up. Here’s some ideas about how to stop that from happening:

1. You and your spouse should sit down and try to see what you actually can agree to in writing, without making a final commitment to it. Sometimes trying to finalize with signatures puts too much pressure on the other spouse and the whole deal blows up. What you want to do is come up with the things you can actually agree on. In other words, a starting point.

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Hinsdale divorce attorneyFrequently couples who are seeking a divorce try to make their own agreements. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it degenerates into argument after argument.

If you’ve practiced divorce long enough you know that people frequently come very close to making a final agreement and then everything blows up. Here are some ideas about how to stop that from happening: 

  1. You and your spouse should sit down and try to see what you actually can agree to in writing, without making a final commitment to it. Sometimes trying to finalize with signatures puts too much pressure on the other spouse and the whole deal blows up. What you want to do is come up with the things you can actually agree on, in other words a starting point.
  1. It’s important not try to force your spouse to actually sign the document, which will only be thought of as your attempt to dominate him or her.
  1. If you can’t come to an agreement don’t despair. Your object of the game here is to keep the game alive and moving forward. Avoid at all cost throwing in the towel and giving up. If you can’t agree just say “let’s table that thought for another time,” and move on to another topic.
  1. Once you have an outline of what you think an agreement should be, you should put the outline of agreement aside and think about it for a day or two. Is anything left out or unclear?
  1. After some time, you should schedule another meeting with your soon to be ex- spouse and go over just the issues that were left out. Try to clarify with each other what both of you think about those things which were undecided.
  1. Many times, we see couples come in with the beginnings of an agreement after using this process. It’s much easier to deal with problems that have been discussed openly and where settlement and resolution has been first tried.
  1. In the process that I’m talking about you need to avoid name calling and reminding each other of past actions or events which were hurtful and stonewalling such as drawing a line in the sand at whatever point and saying I would never do that in a million years.
  1. The couples that have the best chance of having a successful easy divorce realize that they many times will need to have some type of relationship with their ex after the divorce particularly when they have children.
  1. It has been said the journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. Rest assured that even During these COVID steeped times, the courts are open for business and even if it is done remotely you can get a divorce. Believe it or not that’s the easy part the hard part is making the deal. We’ve been making divorce deals for clients for more than 35 years. In our experience, the cases that move the most quickly through the system are those where the clients have a general idea of what the issues are, both for themselves and their spouse and a clear idea of what they want the outcome to be after divorce. By the way this saves a substantial amount of money and emotion.
  1. Even a basic outline of agreed parts of a divorce settlement will make it substantially less costly in attorney’s fees as well as grief.
  1. If you have the bare bones of an agreement with your soon to be ex, feel free to contact us and give us the chance to tweak your basic outline into a final agreement and a fast tracked/streamlined divorce.

 

IL divorce lawyerNot all divorces end up going through a lengthy courtroom battle. In many cases, a couple may choose to enter mediation for their divorce, as it holds many benefits. During mediation, a neutral third-party mediator meets with both spouses and attempts to foster compromise so the two parties can come to a divorce settlement on their own, outside of the courtroom.

Mediation is typically less expensive and less time-consuming than other types of divorces and each spouse is generally more likely to follow the provisions outlined in the agreement. However, if you are considering mediation, preparation is still important to ensure you get the most out of it.

Remain Willing to Cooperate

Mediation is very effective, but only when the two parties are willing to cooperate with each other. Mediation works best when you can identify your mutual interests with your spouse, and be willing to resolve your differences in a way that is satisfactory to each of you. If you are determined to remain adversarial or are unwilling to bend on every term of the divorce, mediation likely is not for you.

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IL family lawyerA good outcome of a divorce depends significantly on the arguments, as well as the agreements that you make during the divorce process. This transition period in your life is not typically a high-point of rational decisions, either. However, it is vital that you make well-thought-out agreements to ensure you have a good foundation for your life after divorce. Here are a few tips that can help.

The Decision

Generally, choosing to divorce is not a mutual decision. Typically, one partner feels unhappy or unappreciated in the union and begins to disconnect from the marriage, gathering a laundry list of bad qualities of their partner along the way. This coping strategy is relatively common, where one party blames the other spouse for the end of the marriage, but also extends the time they have to deal with the grief of the loss of their marriage. The other person is often seen as the victim and is caught off guard.

The Announcement

If you were the initiator or the victim influences the way that you will respond to the announcement; and it also has a direct impact of how you will behave in the following steps. Especially if children are involved, this is an excellent time to seek the advice of an experienced attorney so you can fully understand your options and plan your next steps.

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Read your divorce agreement.

That's right - thoroughly completely and more than once, read your own divorce agreement. It is the future roadmap of your life after your divorce. The more money you have the more important it is for you personally to read each and every page of your divorce agreement. Don’t rely on some else, even your attorney.

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