Many people are familiar with the term ‘starter home’ and what it means. A starter home is usually a very affordable home a person or couples buys when they are just starting out in life. Typically used as an introduction to real estate ownership, people soon give up their starter home within five to ten years and move on to something bigger and better. Today, ‘starter marriages’ are also becoming more common and it has been found that these unions are at a much higher risk for divorce. However, while the chances of a starter marriage dissolving are much greater, like starter homes, a marriage early in life can actually bring benefits to those that enter into them.

What Is a Starter Marriage?

A starter marriage is typically defined as one that is entered into before a person turns 30, and one that ends before that age, as well. During a starter marriage, it is typically unlikely for a couple to have children, and they also usually involve little joint property. Still, a starter marriage may mean different things to different people. For some, a starter marriage may last over two decades, and others may have children during their marriage.

Like many marriages, starter marriages may end for many different reasons. And, like many divorces, couples may learn many things about themselves during the process.

Marriages often struggle because of a lack of communication, mutual goals, and intimacy. Financial stress, unrealistic expectations, and constant arguing are other top causes of divorce, yet sometimes these difficulties can be worked on to save the marriage before it is too late. In other circumstances, the marriage may be beyond repair. One study showed that the most common major contributors to divorce were lack of commitment, infidelity, and conflict or arguing, while the most common reasons for being the “final straw” were infidelity, domestic violence, and substance use.

Infidelity

Being cheated on is possibly the ultimate sign of disrespect in marriage. Illinois does not recognize “fault” in marriage, and infidelity generally has no bearing on decisions such as division of assets, child custody, or support orders. However, infidelity is the “final straw” in many marriages that were already struggling, as there is no way to trust that spouse again in the future.

Being in an Abusive Relationship or the Victim of Domestic Violence

Whether one spouse is physically, emotionally, or psychologically abusive, it is almost a certainty that the victim’s best option is to find a divorce attorney as soon as possible Reporting abuse to law enforcement for a restraining order may also be a necessary step to getting out of the abusive marriage. Common types of spousal abuse include the following:

Surveys have shown that 10 to 15 percent of married women admit to cheating on their spouses, while men double that statistic, with 20 to 25 percent of married men admitting to cheating on their partners. How does infidelity affect divorce? After all, cheating is something that most married couples never get over and is one of the leading causes of divorce.

What Adultery Does Not Affect During Divorce

It is easier to first list the aspects of divorce that are not affected by adultery because adultery has no effect on most of the things that people typically assume that it does. For instance, adultery does not sway a court one way or the other when it comes to child custody unless it can be proven that the cheating spouse’s affair somehow put the child at physical or emotional harm, which is extremely rare. Similarly, adultery has no effect on child support or the parenting plan. Asset distribution almost always remains the same whether marriage end because of infidelity or some other unrelated reason. It may seem like a cheating spouse put less effort into the marriage or is setting a horrible example for his or her children, and therefore is less equipped to be a parent, but the courts generally treat a cheating spouse better than a spouse with a gambling addiction, for example. Only when the infidelity is proven to have directly affected the child in a negative way, such as exposing the child to a prostitute, will a court use infidelity to make a custody decision. The same goes for asset division. However, there is one exception to the later.

Dissipation

Illinois is an equitable distribution state, meaning that property is divided “fairly.” Under 750 ILCS 5/503, the court “shall divide the marital property without regard to marital misconduct in just proportions considering all relevant factors.” As such, adultery does not affect property distribution. However, the court does recognize the misuse of marital assets, called the “dissipation” of marital assets. One type of misuse is spending marital assets on another sexual partner. For example, the court may choose to reduce the property distributed to the husband if it can be proven that he spent money on hotel rooms, jewelry, and dinners for his mistress.

Divorce is a major life decision that can change your life forever. Before initiating the divorce process, you should make sure you are getting divorced for the right reasons. Below is a list of questions you should ask yourself when considering divorce. By answering these questions, you can determine whether or not a divorce makes sense for your particular situation.

1. Do you have feelings for your spouse?

Ask yourself if you have feelings for your spouse. You may find that you still have feelings of love and affection but are simply angry at them for a particular reason. Since you want to avoid making a mistake, it is a good idea to seek couples therapy if there is any love left.

Marriages are full of happy and tragic events. Unfortunately, some of the tragic events cause spouses to question what they really want and whether they are living their life to the fullest. Our divorce lawyers have noticed that these six life events are the ones that often lead to divorce because they distance couples rather than make them stronger:

1. Job Loss

Losing a job and worrying about finances can hinder a marriage. Income loss can change the way a couple spends their time and lives their life. It can also cause one spouse to constantly worry about the unemployed spouse and feel stressed out about being the sole breadwinner.