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It is estimated that in Western cultures, up to 90 percent of the population will make one of the most important decisions of a lifetime - to tie the knot. But it is almost impossible to escape the staggering statistics that 40 to 50 percent of all American couples will face divorce.
To better protect an upcoming marriage, experienced therapists recommend either premarital counseling or adding these top five “tough talks” to the pre-wedding agenda.
Wild About Kids
You may be, but your future spouse may not. It is recommended that this discussion be one of major importance and discussed as early as possible. If you are both on the same page, the discussion should continue to touch upon possible problems with infertility, adoption as an option, discipline methods, and how each future spouse views a life with raising children while safeguarding the marriage and intimacy of the relationship. The number of children each person envisions is also of notable importance but the expansion of a family is left open to circumstance.
Yours, Mine and Ours
With finances being one of the hottest topics of contention among married couples, it is recommended that money and career aspirations also be discussed early on. The discussion should identify each other’s spending or saving habits, should the marital money be pooled or remain in separate accounts, and devise a workable budget agreeable to both individuals.
With regard to career paths, an open discussion as to where each individual sees themselves within five years can often bring up valuable information as to gauge each individual’s career expectations.
Religion and Core Values
Although these topics were probably discussed early on in the dating process, preparing for marriage and honoring both individual’s beliefs should be discussed again, especially if there is a significant difference.
Therapists agree that faith and moral values often play a larger role in a marriage than originally thought. If not on the same page, a couple may experience difficulty especially when a child is brought into the family and there are differences of religious or moral expectations when raising children.
Devising a Fight Plan
Arguments will arise and defining how each individual will approach conflict in a marriage is essential. It is important that each individual understands how their partner approaches conflict. Once a plan is in motion ensure each partner understands what may be acceptable and what remains off limits during an argument.
Flaws and Fantasy
This is definitely the time to openly discuss the little nuances that drive you crazy and perhaps could interfere with the success of the marriage. Gently approach the topic but also be prepared for your future spouse to have a few ideas of his or her own.
If you have a major goal that you have dreamt about for years, discuss it. Perhaps it could be living in another country or opening a small business. Engage your partner and gauge how he or she would support your bucket list item and to ensure they understand your passion to satisfy these achievements.
If all communication efforts have failed and the differences in your marriage are beyond repair, trust the experience of the Law Office of Martoccio & Martoccio. Our skilled Hinsdale divorce attorneys promise to keep the lines of communication open as we build a solid legal foundation to ensure the best possible outcome. Contact our Hinsdale office today at 630-920-8855 to schedule your no-cost consultation.
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