Paternity is an interesting subject. When a woman gives birth to a baby, there is no question as to if that woman is the baby’s biological mother - but there is no automatic link to know who the baby’s biological father is. 

Traditionally, the legal paternal rights to the baby were given to the man who was married to the baby’s mother, but in recent years more and more unmarried couples have been having children. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 4 percent of all babies born in the United States in 1950 were born to unmarried mothers. In 2008, about 40 percent of all babies were born to unmarried mothers. In many states - Illinois included - if the child is born to an unmarried woman, the father must legally establish his paternity before he can claim any rights to the child.

Presumed Paternity in Illinois

In the state of Illinois, a father cannot even put his name on the child’s birth certificate unless paternity has been established. The only time paternity is presumed is if the mother was married or in a civil union at the time the child was born, or if the mother was married or in a civil union within 300 days before the child was born. If neither of those situations was true, then paternity must be established.

Children, especially, can have a difficult time with divorce. Divorce brings much uncertainty into the lives of everyone in the family, and children, who thrive off of stability, can be affected much more strongly than others. There are things you can do to help alleviate some of the stress your children have because of the divorce. Here are five ways you can help your children cope with this big change in their lives:

1. Explain the Divorce to Your Children in Terms They Can Understand

Children’s understanding of divorce will vary based on their age and maturity level. Younger children will need to be explained to in simple, yet truthful terms about the divorce. The conversation can be as simple as telling your children that mommy and daddy no longer want to fight all the time, so they will be living in different houses. Older children will usually require a more explanatory response, but you should be careful to reveal too much information as your children do not need to hear about your marital problems.

2. Encourage Conversation about Their Feelings

You should tell your children that it is normal for them to feel sad or angry about the divorce. You will have your own feelings about the divorce, and it is important for your children to be able to have theirs. Allowing your children to talk about their feelings will allow them to progress through the grieving process.

If you are a business owner, your business is most likely one of the most expensive assets that you own. Deciding who gets to keep the house is one thing, but a business is a whole other creature that can be difficult to divide when you are getting divorce. 

Your specific circumstances will determine how much of the business your ex is entitled to, but in some cases, he or she may be entitled to as much as half of the business. While a prenuptial agreement is the best way to ensure your business is protected in the event you divorce, not everyone gets one. Here are four ways you can protect your business during a divorce:

1. Get a Postnuptial Agreement

If you dropped the ball and did not have a prenuptial agreement in place when you got married, do not fret - you can still get a postnuptial agreement. Typically, a postnuptial agreement in Illinois has the same type of clauses and information about what would happen in the event of a divorce, you are just signing it after you are married, rather than before. But beware, if you try to enter into a postnuptial agreement after you have already made the decision to get divorced, your agreement may not be upheld in court.

In Illinois, child support payments end when the child turns 18 years old or when he or she graduates from high school, whichever comes later. The ending of high school does not mean that both parents are done contributing to the child’s living expenses, though. Under Illinois law, parents are also subject to “non-minor support,” which is typically used while the child is in college. Many times, you can address this issue before your divorce is finalized by putting who will pay what in the divorce agreement. If you did not address this issue before you finalize your divorce, do not fret. You can still address this issue with a divorce lawyer or in court if need be.

Expenses That Are Covered

It is not just tuition that is covered under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act. The Act states that educational expenses can include:

• Up to five college applications;
• Two standardized college entrance exams;
• One standardized college entrance exam preparatory course;
• Housing expenses, including a meal plan;
• Tuition and fees;
• Medical expenses, including dental expenses;
• Living expenses, such as food, utilities and transportation; and
• Books and other supplies needed to attend school.

Making Decisions About College Expenses

Not all parents are required to cover their child’s college. Illinois courts understand that not all parents have the financial means to pay for such expenses. When making determinations about requirements for paying these expenses, the courts look at:

Though every divorce is different, and there is no one set way that can be used in all divorces, there are some general guidelines that can help make your divorce easier on you. The nature of divorce makes this period of time in your life difficult already, so figuring out ways that you can make it easier on everyone involved is a good idea. You may not even be aware that you are making these mistakes, but they can hinder the divorce and separation process. Here are five mistakes that you should try your best to avoid making:

1. Being Uninformed or Unprepared

If you are unaware of your financial situation, you are setting yourself up for failure. Before you begin the divorce process, you should make sure that you have access to all bank accounts and credit card accounts, as well as tax return information and investment accounts. You will want to make copies of all available financial records, such as tax returns, bank and credit card statements, loan documents, insurance policies, and deeds to real estate or vehicles.

2. Letting Your Emotions Guide You

Divorce dredges up many thoughts and feelings, so it can be difficult to take your emotions out of the process. It is completely normal to feel everything from grief to anger to resentment, but it is important that you do not let these emotions control your decisions. Seeing a counselor or therapist who specializes in divorce or family issues can help you work through those emotions in a healthy way.