4 Ways to Make Child Custody Arrangements Easier on Children

 Posted on June 01, 2023 in Family Law

Whether you have joint or shared custody of your children, the adjustment can be challenging for them, especially if they are quite young. Besides getting used to the fact that they would no longer see their parents every day, they also had to adapt to new living arrangements and circumstances if either of the parents moved.

How to Make Child Custody Arrangements Easier On Kids

Here are some ways you can make the new living arrangements and parenting plan easier on your children:

1. Don’t Speak Ill of Your Ex

If you had a contentious divorce, you might be tempted to badmouth your ex-spouse before your kids to get them on 'your side.' However, that may do more harm than good. What you say about your ex-spouse, your children may internalize about themselves. Even if you are angry at your ex, your children may still be close to them as a parent. So try and keep your feelings to yourself. 

2. Remember, Joint Custody Is For The Sake Of the Children 

The divorce was between you and your ex, but child custody is for the sake of your children. You may have tunnel vision during the process and can easily lose sight of your children's happiness and well-being. Custody is not about getting what you want. The hardest thing for co-parents is remembering that their children are not prizes to be won but cherished individuals who should be cared for.

If you have shared custody, you can make things easier for yourself and your children if you and your ex set aside your egos and realize what is best for your family.

3. Help the Children with the New Schedule 

Getting used to a changeover can cause emotional turmoil in children who have never seen their parents as two separate people. By helping them understand what they can expect, you can reduce their anxiety and provide some stability. 

The method you choose to explain the new parenting schedule should depend on each child's age. But most children, irrespective of age, can benefit from a simple, custom calendar that can be hung in a common space such as the hallway or their bedroom. Use changeover stickers for younger children and send pre-teens or teenagers an electronic copy of their schedule they can check easily from their phones.

4. Respect One Another’s Time 

No plan is perfect, and life events can cause delays. However, getting angry at the other parent because they are late picking up or dropping the kids may not be productive. Changeovers will remain a challenge for some years unless you and your ex make alternative arrangements to make the transition easier between both houses.

One of the ways you can make things easier for yourself and your family is to respect one another's time and commit to doing so. But also understand that no one is perfect and someone may run behind schedule at one point or another. Remember your timing during changeovers and let the other parent know if you are running late beforehand. 

Contact a Hinsdale Child Custody Lawyer 

When making child custody arrangements or parenting plans post-divorce, divorced or unmarried parents may face significant challenges. This includes emotionally charged disputes over custody. Contact a Hinsdale child custody attorney at the Law Office of Martoccio & Martoccio for legal aid on each step of the child custody process by dialing 630-920-8855. 

Source:

https://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/documents/075000050k505.htm