Divorce is often an expensive, long, drawn-out affair that takes many stressful months and east up thousands of dollars. On the other hand, your divorce could be amicable, be over in a short period of time, and cost you very little. However, you never know how your spouse will react to your demands, what problems may arise, and whether or not things will take a turn for the worse. As such, it is important to not only seek out legal counsel from the beginning, but to create a plan to ensure that you have enough money to get through the divorce, potentially with independence from your spouse.

Living Arrangements

Some spouses can make it under the same roof for many months during their divorce, and some even choose to live with one another after the divorce has been finalized. For those who do not have close friends or family members to stay with and are stretched tight for cash, living with your soon to be ex-spouse may be the only option available. For those who do have the means or opportunity to live apart, separating may be the best choice during divorce. This means deciding who stays in the current home and who rents an apartment or house for the next number of months. The additional cost of renting another place may be taken into account during divorce.

Deciding with Whom Your Children Will Live

If you have children, child custody and the parenting plan may be the most hotly contested part of the divorce. However, even before the divorce is finalized, parents must either agree on a living situation, or they can take the matter to court. Under 750 ILCS 5/603.5, the court can create a temporary parenting plan before the divorce is finalized, making a decision based on what is in the child’s best interest.

Custody and visitation court cases take their toll on families. Separating fathers or mothers from children, even if it is just the weekend or every few days per month during visitation, can cause some parents to take drastic measures. When a parent takes their child from the other parent, leaves town with the child against a court order, or refuses to allow the other parent their legal visitation or time with their child, they will be held in contempt of the court. The American Bar Association warns against taking matters into one’s own hands if a parent is unhappy with a court ruling regarding child custody or visitation. It will have grave consequences during the divorce case for that parent, who will also likely be tried in criminal court. A parent who commits parental kidnapping seriously compromises their chances of having a positive outcome during the divorce proceedings, as they have created a blight on their parenting abilities that no judge will ignore.

Consequences of Parental Kidnapping

Some possible consequences of parental kidnapping include the following:

• Being arrested;
• Spending weeks, months, or longer in jail or prison;
• Fines and restitution fees;
• Loss of child custody;
• Limited visitation or supervised visitation only (the parent may also be required to pay a fee for the supervising authority during the supervised visitation as well, meaning that it cost them money every time they see their own child); and
• Loss of all visitation rights.

Has Your Child Been Kidnapped By Their Other Parent?

Sadly, parental kidnapping is very common. In fact, kidnapping by a stranger is extremely rare. Most children who get kidnapped are taken by someone they know, who is usually a family member and almost always a parent. One study found that 875,000 children are abducted by a family member every year and that 90 percent of those kidnapping relatives or abductors were actually the parents of that child. Fathers were more likely to abduct or kidnap their child than mothers, and only 43 percent of abductions were reported to the police.

Ten years ago, few people had ever heard about cryptocurrency. Today, millions of Americans have invested in companies like Bitcoin. In fact, over five percent of Americans, or over 15 million, have purchased Bitcoin alone, the most popular type of cryptocurrency, with the average American investing around $3,400. Some individuals have invested far more than this. And, because cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin rise and drop in value drastically at any given month, many people have made small fortunes with an early investment before 2018. In fact, one Bitcoin was worth around $700 in 2016. Today, one Bitcoin is worth roughly $3,800. That represents an increase in value of over 540 percent. As such, if someone invested $5,000 back in 2016, their investment would now be worth over $27,000. Interestingly enough, this can cause issues during the division of assets in a divorce.

Asset Division

One of the main aspects of divorce is dividing assets. Here in Illinois, marital assets are divided in an equitable fashion. This does not mean that all marital assets are split down the middle 50/50, however. When a couple cannot come to terms on their own or through mediation, a judge will divide the assets fairly or equitably.

What Is Marital Property?

Property owned before marriage is personal property. The value of this personal property, which may grow during the course of the marriage, remains personal property. Marital assets and property include everything that was acquired during the marriage. This includes bank accounts, real property, savings accounts earned with one party’s income, cars, and more. The only types of property acquired during a marriage that are not considered marital property are gifts, settlement or lawsuit awards, and inheritance.

Divorce is hard on adults. It can have serious impacts on each spouse’s physical and emotional health, with long-lasting implications. For children, divorce is orders of magnitude more difficult. Children often suffer from short to long-term problems following the separation of their parents. These issues range from behavioral and educational to physical and psychological, causing depression, anxiety, and a variety of other disorders. Divorce is tough on kids, but it does not need to be crippling on your child. In fact, living in a happy household is most likely much healthier for you and your child than pre-divorce, being exposed to loud arguments and deafening silences. Now that you have taken the first step in improving your and your child’s lives, the next step is to consider what type of parenting plan or living situation will best suit your child’s needs. A relatively new option that many parents have never heard of is called nesting, and it involves keeping the child in one home, while the parents take turns coming and going.

Stability and Predictability Are Key for a Child’s Health

Imagine how hard it is on you to be going through a divorce and the months of uncertainty afterward as a fully developed, emotionally cognizant adult. Now imagine being a child, not knowing what will happen next, where you will live, where you will go to school, and what the future holds. One type of parenting plan can make a huge impact on your child’s happiness and their ability to cope with this new situation. Traditionally, a child of divorced or separated parents spends time moving between the mother and father’s homes, potentially dividing their time equally between their mother and father, or spending the weekends with one and the weekdays with the other. This continual change in sleeping and living arrangements, the never-ending back and forth between homes, and the constant change in schedule is hard on children. Nesting can be a solution to this problem by allowing the child a more consistent, predictable, and stable lifestyle. The child lives in one home, while the parents take turns living with the child while staying at another shared home or separate homes during their off time.

Bird Nesting Requires Cooperation Between the Parents

As you can imagine, nesting requires a high level of communication and agreement between the parents. Because of a lack of communication and agreeability are often the cause of divorce in the first place, nesting is not for every divorced couple. It also demands more of the parents than in the traditional living model. While nesting disrupts the parents’ lives, who are more able to deal with disruption in their lives than their children, it allows the child to maintain routine, continuity, and permanency. Consistency is a cornerstone of child raising.

After a divorce, your spouse will eventually move on. Whether they enter into a long-term, committed relationship or they remarry, sooner or later, someone new will come into their life. This thought is painful for many exes to cope with, for obvious reasons. On your wedding day, you imagine that person being with you, and no one else, for the rest of your life. Even though the divorce is final, there is still a part of most spouses that feel a little emotional when this happens.

Without a doubt, these feelings intensify when children become involved. Not only is the newcomer involved in your ex’s life, but they are also becoming involved in the lives of your children. As parents, we become protective by nature; but there is a fine line between being protective and being possessive. For a quick resolution, try these tips if you are finding interactions difficult with your ex’s new significant other.

Find Common Ground

An excellent place to start is to find some common ground. Even if they are a high-powered professional and you are more laid-back, there is always something on which you can both agree. Maybe you both like the beach, hiking, or have a mutual love of bread. Keep trying. If all else fails, you always have the kids and your ex in common.