If you are like other men facing an inevitable divorce, you are likely dealing with a lot of frustration and confusion. Divorce can be a slow and painful process, or it can happen so fast you are not sure how it even came up. Many men assume a lot of things about divorce – whether true or not – simply because of rumors and a lifetime of hearing horror stories about their fathers, uncles, workmates, and others who have been allegedly “fleeced” or “taken to the cleaners” by their ex-wives. With so many stereotypes and myths out there, men tend to enter the process already assuming the worst and thinking their situation is hopeless. The good news is, with proper representation, a solid plan, and the determination to make legally sound choices, most men come through divorce just fine.

One area where men are most confused is the subject of alimony (“maintenance,” as it is called in Illinois). If you are truly concerned about how much maintenance you may have to pay or you feel that your wife should be paying maintenance, definitely consider talking to a Hinsdale divorce lawyer today. But before you let your wife’s attorney convince you to sign something waiving alimony, consider this.

Maintenance Has Nothing to Do with Gender

It seems most people intuitively already know this, but the myths and stereotypes are just so powerful. But it is true. There is no statute, no regulation, no jury instruction, and not a single court decision in modern times that says men must pay maintenance or that women should not. It is simply not part of the equation. To be sure, there is nothing in the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act at 750 ILCS 5/457 that mentions which gender should receive or pay maintenance.

When two people decide to make a split in their relationship, one of the first and most difficult decisions is often where the couple will live. If they are not married but only living together, the choice is often much simpler, as the person whose name is on the lease or mortgage will inevitably retain use of the property. If a true joint lease or mortgage, then it can indeed be every bit as complicated. But for a married couple - especially with children - the challenge is deciding who will stay in the marital home. In most cases, men tend to be the ones to depart quickly upon conflict. But this may not always be a good decision. So, before you move out of the marital home, here are some considerations you might want to discuss with a DuPage County divorce lawyer.

He Who Stays and He Who Pays

Effective January of 2019, Illinois’ child support statute has dramatically changed. Unlike before, the law no longer creates a strict guideline based on just the number of children a couple has. Instead, the new law takes into considerations such as:

• How many children the couple has
• Whether there are children from other relationships
• Who is paying health and dental insurance
• Who is paying daycare and other childcare expenses
• Relative income of both parties
• The relative amount of parenting time each parent has

This is a significant departure from the past, and it can be a good thing for parents who have fairly equal parenting time with a spouse who earns far less. By having more equal parenting time and covering extra expenses for the kids, it reduces the amount of direct support that must be paid, if any. However, it is important to keep in mind that the marital home has a somewhat intangible effect on parenting roles. Here is why.

Over the past few decades, many states have begun loosening the grip on marriage. For a very long time, American courts were highly paternalistic in their attempts to place obstacles in the way of divorce. At one time, all states required some wrongdoing or “grounds” for divorce. As that requirement faded, courts imposed waiting periods or mandatory separation periods. Today, Illinois has come a long way in recognizing the need to simplify the divorce process, especially for those who meet certain guidelines. For those individuals, the process can be very quick and can be done with minimal conflict.

While Joint Simplified Dissolution of Marriage may sound easy, it is still important to consider all of the legal implications of divorce before signing anything. From taxes to insurance, divorce will entirely change the landscape of your life very quickly. It is usually best to get experienced help from a DuPage County divorce attorney before trying to take on this sort of task alone. If you do qualify, then you and your spouse can file a joint petition, asking for a divorce. This saves several costly and unnecessary steps.

To determine if you even qualify for a joint simplified dissolution, check to see if you meet each of the following:

Anytime two people go to court over a dispute regarding the care and custody of minor children, the court must carefully assess what is best for the child. Although the vast majority of parents truly want what is best for their kids, reasonable people can certainly disagree about what is indeed the best thing. Jealousy, anger, resentment, and any number of other hostile emotions are frequently at play in a divorce or separation case, so it is not uncommon for the court to find it difficult to ascertain what is really going on outside of court. This is where a guardian ad litem (GAL) comes in. The GAL does not represent the parties, so if you need representation, you should speak to an experienced family law attorney near you right away.

Understanding the Role of the GAL

No matter how good of a parent you think you are, remember that the judge does not know you personally. He or she must rely on what you and your spouse (or your respective attorneys) tell the court. Because the judge’s primary concern is protecting minor children, the judge will want to get a glimpse into the home life, parenting, and other elements that may make a difference. A court-appointed guardian ad litem acts as the eyes and ears of the court. The GAL will typically speak to each parent separately and find out as much as possible about their point of view, what they want for the child, and how they propose to handle issues that may arise. The GAL will also speak to the child, assuming the child is old enough to communicate. The GAL then prepares a report to the judge, which summarizes the GAL’s findings, opinions, and recommendations.

Confusion About the GAL’s Position

Many people get confused about the various attorneys and representatives that can be involved in a child custody dispute. Section 5/506(a) of the Illinois Family Code sets forth the obligations and responsibilities of GALs, as well as other representatives. For instance, in a child custody dispute, there may be up to three additional individuals involved in the process, beyond the attorneys representing the parents. These may include:

Everyone wishes divorce could go smoother and without the headaches and expenses that so often come with the territory. For most, however, the process simply is unpleasant. Nevertheless, there are a number of things that divorcing couples can do well in advance of court to ensure the best chance of a quick and relatively smooth transition. One of the first steps should always be to schedule an appointment with a local Hinsdale family law attorney to weigh your options and get early advice. Beyond that, here are four tips for planning a successful divorce.

#1 Gather Your Paperwork

Long before either party files a petition for dissolution of marriage and far prior to any court hearing, you should consider how difficult it may be later to obtain copies of things like:

• Your spouse’s paystubs
• Your spouse’s bank statements
• Investment documents
• Retirement statements
• Printouts showing the value of assets

Once a couple is in the midst of a divorce, it can be tempting to not share private information, especially finances. This later leads to complicated discovery – the process through which attorneys obtain this information from each side. This is often the most expensive and challenging part of the case. So, the best way to avoid this is to gather the documents while you are still on speaking terms and long before the divorce has begun.