Other than losing a loved one, getting divorced is likely the most stressful event that will happen to a person in their life. This is because divorce changes nearly everything in your life. You will likely spend less time with your children, face tax implications, and may have to move out of your home, or even out of your city or state. Although divorce is a legal process, it is also an extremely emotional one. Unfortunately, that emotional process does not end once the divorce is finalized. Many people expect that they will be happier after divorce, and are surprised when they realize that is not necessarily the case. Below are four of the biggest aspects people do not realize about life after divorce.

You Will Feel the Loss

Even if you initiated the divorce, you will likely still feel a loss. You will no longer share every aspect of your daily life with your spouse and no matter how broken the relationship was at the end, this is still an adjustment. You may also lose certain relationships, such as the family members and friends of your now former spouse. This loss is very difficult for many people to cope with, and one that many people do not consider when they are going through divorce proceedings.

The Surprising Reactions of Others

Anyone that gets divorced expects their family members and closest friends to be there afterward. Sadly, that is not always the case. Sometimes family members may treat you differently, even if it is something as simple as not inviting you to a family dinner. They may think it will be more difficult for you to see other happy couples and they simply do not want to put you through that. Or, they may not think that you feel up to going anywhere or seeing anyone. However, it will not feel as though they are looking out for your best interests and these actions can cause resentment to build in the family. On the other hand, you may also find that people you were not particularly close to are the ones that are there for you and will help you get through this difficult time.

Going through a divorce is extremely difficult and emotionally taxing. Some people may need time to mourn the relationship, and these individuals may also take some time to get back on their feet. Others, though, may want to jump right back into life and resume certain activities, such as dating. When that is the case, how do you know if you are ready, or how to do it without hurting your children, the people you date, or yourself? If you are considering dating after divorce, the guidelines below can help you determine if you are ready.

Ask Yourself Some Hard Questions

Although many people think of the fun aspects of dating, such as getting dressed up and going out to fancy restaurants, it is important to remember that there are a lot of difficult components of it, as well. Before putting yourself through that unnecessarily, it is important to ask yourself some tough questions. Did you learn the lessons you needed to during your marriage and divorce? Are you ready to move on from your marriage? Do you feel you have obtained the closure you needed after divorce? Asking yourself these questions, and being honest about the answers, will help you determine if you are ready to date after divorce.

Pay Attention to How You Feel

Sometimes, people just are not certain if they are ready to date after divorce until they actually do it. So, if you are unsure but think you may be ready to get back into the dating game, try it and see. If you are not ready to date yet, you will know fairly soon into the date. Again, it is important to be honest with yourself. Do not shrug off your feelings by telling yourself that you are just nervous, or that you are only having those feelings because it has been a while since you have dated. If you are not ready, those feelings will not go away and you are not doing yourself any favors by trying to push through them.

When people think of domestic violence, they often imagine a person living with a spouse or partner that is physically abusive. Unfortunately, that is only one form of domestic violence. While many people also recognize emotional abuse as another form of domestic violence, individuals often are often not aware of financial abuse, even when they are victims of it. For this reason, it is important that everyone understands what financial abuse is, how to recognize the signs and to have hope that even when it is occurring, there is a way to put an end to it.

Understanding Financial Abuse

Financial abuse occurs when one person limits their spouse’s or partner’s access to money and other financial resources. They do this because it places them in a position of power over the other person. Without access to their own finances, a person becomes much more dependent on their spouse or partner, which provides the abuser with the security of knowing that the other person will not leave them. Many studies have shown that it is usually women that are the victims of financial abuse, although of course it can happen to anyone.

Recognizing the Signs of Financial Abuse

Sometimes, people do not realize that they are a victim of financial abuse. This is often because financial abuse is typically accompanied by physical and emotional abuse, which is much more obvious than financial abuse. Some of the most common warning signs of financial abuse include:

In Illinois, all parents are financially responsible for their minor children. When two parents are married, it is assumed that both parents will contribute to the financial needs of their child. When those parents are not married, or they get a divorce, typically one parent must make child support payments. In most situations, the parent that pays child support only must do so until the child reaches the age of 18. It is then assumed that the child can make their own living and financially support themselves.

When a child suffers from a disability, they are sometimes unable to work and earn that income to support themselves. Illinois law recognizes this and outlines certain times when child support can be extended to support a child with a disability.

What Qualifies for Extended Child Support in Illinois?

According to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, a disability is considered an impairment that prohibits a person from performing a major life activity. An impairment can be physical or mental and can include developmental disorders, physical handicaps, intellectual disabilities, and more. As long as the impairment is severe enough that it limits a child’s ability to perform daily tasks, support for the child may be extended.

When getting a divorce, many couples think it is going to involve a lengthy and bitter courtroom battle. However, this is often not the case. Many couples choose to settle their divorce through mediation. Mediation is a method of alternative dispute resolution in which the two spouses meet with a neutral third-party, the mediator. During these meetings, the mediator attempts to bring the couple to a mutual agreement on all terms of the divorce. The process requires compromise on the part of each spouse, but there are many advantages to the process, which are listed below.

Mediation Is Faster

When going through litigation to get a divorce, the couple is at the mercy of the court’s schedule. That, along with the fact that trials are often lengthy, makes litigated divorces take much longer than those that are settled during mediation. While a litigated divorce may take several months to a year to settle, mediation can involve just a few sessions that take place over the course of several weeks.

Mediation Is Less Expensive

Generally speaking, mediation is cheaper than going through litigation for divorce. Mediation does not involve fees such as court costs and the fact that it is a faster process than going to trial typically means that mediation is cheaper than going to court.