Dear Mom and Dad: Divorce through the Eyes of a Child

 Posted on May 20, 2016 in Family Law

In the United States, it is projected that one out of every two marriages will end in divorce. The majority of these divorces will involve children. With the focus generally lain on the parents, one may wonder just how divorce is viewed through the eyes of a child caught somewhere in between.

Dear Mom and Dad,

We are facing divorce. I find myself one of the 1.5 million children who deal with the loss of a family every year. Although researchers find that only a small percentage of us will experience serious repercussions, my world is now lost.

I understand you may be devastated or perhaps even relieved, but I remain scared and uncertain about my future. I am battling a loss of security and I am left confused. Did I cause the divorce?

Mom and Dad, have you been telling me the truth about the divorce or are you presenting a misinterpretation of the real reasons? Are you going to keep me involved, keep me informed or shall I be left wondering how this divorce is going to affect my universe. I do not know how to deal with these emotions. Please help me, I feel stressed and feeling this way only increases my personal angst.

I feel vulnerable, I feel afraid. Will feeling this way become a threat to both my physical and mental well-being? This divorce is traumatic. Will you continue to provide me with the care and attention I need?

I know divorce is a grown-up situation but it is tearing our family apart. Will you be honest and open about what is happening? I need reassurance that I did not cause this divorce. I need you both to have simple conversations with me,. I need you both to be honest and not place blame on each other but please recognize this as a loss and reassure me that love and hope still remain for all of us.

Even if you both help me along the way I may show signs of distress or changes in mood and behaviors. I may become uncooperative or hide away in my room. I may experience bouts of severe sadness as I deal with the loss of my family. I may begin to doubt my own self-worth or perhaps even carry the scars of divorce well into my adult life as a child of divorce.

Love,

Your Child

Divorce is challenging for all family members. If you are facing divorce and have serious concerns not only for your future but your child’s as well, the experienced Hinsdale divorce attorneys of the Law Office of Martoccio & Martoccio understand how sensitive legal issues and powerful emotions can delay the future. Contact our office at 630-920-8855 to schedule your no-cost initial consultation today.

Sources:

https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-and-Divorce-001.aspx

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/