How to Co-Parent with a Narcissist

 IL divorce lawyerCo-parenting with a narcissist is a real challenge. If you have children with a narcissist you divorced, know that there are ways you can make co-parenting a bit easier. Here are some tips that can help you put your child’s needs first and make the best of this difficult situation.

Have Realistic Expectations

It’s essential to accept the fact that narcissists rarely change. Therefore, you should not expect your co-parent to suddenly become empathetic or be content with not having emotional control. By having realistic expectations, you won’t be as disappointed when your ex-spouse creates drama and stress.

Limit Communication Modes

If possible, try to limit modes of communication with your narcissistic ex when you need to communicate with them about your children. Text messages and emails are ideal because they allow you to take the time to figure out how to respond in a way that minimizes conflict.

Use a Mediator When Necessary

There will be times when you experience serious problems with your parenting plan and/or visitation. In these situations, a mediator can help you resolve issues and keep serious conflicts from occurring while assisting you in negotiating what is best for your children.

Sign Children Up for Therapy

Therapy can do wonders for children with divorced parents. It is also particularly helpful for children who are coping with abuse from a narcissistic parent. You may find that therapy can effectively help your children deal with their emotions.

Avoid Badmouthing the Narcissist

Although it’s easier said than done, you should avoid badmouthing the narcissist parent in front of your children. Doing so can put your children in an uncomfortable position and make them feel even worse about their other parent’s negative traits. If you need to vent, find a trustworthy friend, family, or therapist.

Provide Structure as Much as Possible

Parents who are narcissists are known for using their children to boost their own ego. In order to counteract some of the damage a narcissist parent inflicts on your child, it is important to set strong boundaries and provide as much structure as possible. Make sure your child knows what type of behavior you expect, show them how to share and take turns, and encourage them to be responsible for their homework, chores, and other parts of life.

Consult an Experienced DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

For more information on how to co-parent with a narcissist, contact our DuPage County divorce lawyers. Call us at 630-920-8855 today.


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