Divorce can be difficult for children. Living in two households, watching parents date and remarry, and getting introduced to step-siblings and half-siblings are several of the many changes divorce can bring to your children’s lives.

Fortunately, there are ways you can help your children live a high quality of life despite any changes your divorce may bring. You can start by making an effort to avoid the following 4 common parenting mistakes during divorce:

1. Forcing Your Children to Be Messengers

Divorce can become very difficult when you have to co-parent with your ex who you do not get along with. Fortunately, there are ways that you can make co-parenting easier and become a great role model to your children. Here are five co-parenting tips you should keep in mind to make parenting a pleasant rather than daunting experience:

1. Lower Your Expectations

You cannot expect your ex to be the kind of parent you would like them to be. Doing so will only leave you disappointed and frustrated. Keep in mind that even if you believe they should be a better parent, you cannot control their parenting style and/or change their priorities.

At that time there was no Illinois divorce law on the subject of pet “custody.” Nonetheless, later in my career, I argued for custody of a dog’s ashes which were in an urn on the divorcing couples’ fireplace mantel. Again, I argued in both cases that the family dog was like a child or family member to my client. I knew that for many, a Pet becomes a best friend and a true member of the family. In both cases, I incurred the ire of the Judge who was not pleased with having the Judge’s time wasted. By the way, a good divorce lawyer will think first about his or her client’s beliefs and argue for them and only second about any potential waste of the Court’s time.

In March 2014, I wrote a blog and posted it here on our website entitled: Who Gets the Dog in an Illinois Divorce? The answer then being, that the dog was treated like any other property in an Illinois Divorce and divided according to the rules of marital versus nonmarital property with no recognition as to how important that Pet was to the client.

Electronic devices are a major part of our modern lives, and we leave a trail of information in nearly everything we do, whether we are browsing the internet and sending email from our computers, communicating with others on Facebook using a tablet, or making calls and sending text messages from our smartphones. When we do so, we expect a reasonable amount of privacy, and the law provides us with protections that will ensure that private conversations and communications remain private.

During divorce, it can be tempting for one spouse to try to breach this privacy, especially if they believe the other spouse is at fault for the failure of the marriage. One spouse may attempt to log into the other’s email account, install monitoring software on their computer, or gain access to the text messages on their cell phone, all in hopes of uncovering information that may give them an advantage during divorce proceedings. However, spouses should be aware of how the law addresses these acts.

Divorce and the Illinois Eavesdropping Act

One of the most contentious areas of developing a parenting plan is how the holidays will be shared between parents. When most of us think of the holidays, it is often just the events during November and December that come to mind. But a solid parenting plan also addresses the holidays that occur throughout the year, such as Memorial Day, July 4th, and Labor Day. Another issue that may need to be addressed is what happens if Mother's Day or Father's Day falls on a day that the child is scheduled to be with the other parent?

You may include a clause about how your children will spend the holidays in your custody arrangement. If you are currently working through the divorce process, discuss family holidays with your spouse and with your attorney. You will likely have to compromise with your spouse regarding how the holidays are split up, but if you both take a proactive stance and work together from the start, you stand a better chance of reaching a positive, productive outcome.

Ways to Divide the Holidays