Taking Control of Your Divorce: Knowing What to Expect

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For the 9.5 percent of Illinois couples facing divorce in the course of this year, many may be wondering what to expect and how to successfully handle themselves outside the legal boundaries covered by an experienced Illinois divorce attorney.

Keeping emotions in check, tempers boiling at a minimal temperature and the status quo are relevant for any member involved in the breakdown of the family, Elinor Robin, PhD contributor to the Huffington Post offers these simple solutions for keeping the “normal” in an upcoming life event that often results in the loss of rational control.

Facing Feelings of Failure

When it comes to a failed marriage, both spouses will mourn the physical and mental loss of a marriage. Often one will tend to view the marriage as now “wasted” years but as Dr. Robin points out, maintaining clarity and exercising self-control can be achieved through meditation, exercise and opting for healthy social outlets.

Expect Continual Change

It is difficult to tackle all the changes one encounters over the course of a divorce. Social networks, perhaps standard of living and your child’s connection to the absent parent may produce negative interactions and heighten issues that were evident throughout the marriage. Once again, maintaining clarity and exercising self-control through healthy outlets is key.

Children Also Feel the Effects of Change

No matter the age, Dr. Robin notes that divorce immediately impacts the children caught in the process. While keeping all lines of communication open and the continuation or productive co-parenting if possible, it is also imperative that a child become involved in a creative or healthy physical activity to decrease emotional turmoil.

Even “Amicable” Divorces Evoke Dislike

Even if a spouse has offered the “olive branch” in the spirit of friendliness at the beginning of the divorce process, Dr. Robin warns that even in the most cordial divorces, sometimes it is still difficult to curtail the feelings of disdain and dislike. Once again, healthy choices and stress relieving exercise are in order as well as perhaps professional counseling sessions.

Establishing a Supportive Network

When building a supportive network, it is important to remember that most often concerned friends or relatives focus entirely on the immediate and not the “big picture”, often resulting in non-productive information or emotionally charged support efforts. Dr. Robin suggests that when establishing an immediate support team, a qualified attorney, coach or mediator should become a key player.


As Dr. Robin believes that managing all personal expectations is key to surviving the divorce process, the qualified Hinsdale divorce attorneys of The Law Offices of Martoccio & Martoccio believe that all legal expectations should be professionally met. Contact our offices today to schedule your free consultation.

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