The Big Talk: I Want a Divorce

There are few conversations that are more difficult to begin than the one in which you tell your spouse you want a divorce. Having a divorce attorney on your side at the very beginning is a good way to not only ease the burden of breaking the news, but also can provide important legal counseling regarding the specifics of your dissolving marriage. Yet, according to, while “you can control how you proceed with a divorce, you cannot control your spouse’s reaction.” Perhaps the most important thing to keep in mind as you begin the conversation is a willingness to acknowledge your own fault in the dissolution of the marriage, and not just place the blame on your soon-to-be ex. 

Listening is key factor to having the big talk go smoothly. This can be especially difficult in a relationship with little or no empathy left on either side, but keeping the commitment to refrain from argument is the easiest way to lay groundwork for a healthy divorce. “A healthy divorce is as important as having a healthy marriage,” according to MSNBC. “It’s OK to acknowledge their (and your own) feelings of sadness or shame, but remain firm in your intent to go forward.”

And while, in the midst of this anticipated sadness, it may seem an even bigger burden to bring in legal counsel, oftentimes speaking with an attorney before having this conversation can ease the tension within the party desiring the separation. An attorney will be able to lay the groundwork for how the procedure will play out, and even be able to arm you with some positive responses to anticipated arguments. “It might be a relief to your spouse to hear you are seeking a divorce,” reports MSNBC. This, of course, is best-case scenario.

If you or someone you know is considering divorce, start with conversation with a dedicated and experienced Cook County divorce attorney today.

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