Kids may not be so excited for school to start again in the fall, but parents are usually ready to get back to a routine and get bored, fighting kids out of the house. But the back-to-school ritual takes a lot of preparation and this is especially true when divorced parents are coordinating clothing, school supplies, and after-school plans in two different households.
While it can be normal to feel some trepidation as you approach the school year for the first time since your Illinois divorce, taking the time to plan ahead can go a long way toward preventing conflict and confusion in the first few days of school. Here are four tips for co-parents getting ready to send kids back to school this fall.
Getting up early for school can cause a lot of grumbling, as any parent of school-aged children knows. Although your kids will be reluctant to wake up early just to get ready for the school schedule, start adjusting their wake times at least a week ahead of time. Even better, try to get your ex to join you so your plans do not get completely set back over the weekend.
Once your divorce was finalized, you probably heaved a huge sigh of relief - while you still have to deal with your ex as you manage your children together, you no longer live under the same roof and deal with your ex’s obnoxious mood swings or annoying habits. Yet you may be surprised by how much time you spend thinking about your ex - if only to make sure that your children are safe in their company.
For many divorcees, particularly women, the choices their ex makes following a divorce seem clearly not to be in the best interests of the children. Whether it is new partners who regularly come and go or your ex’s “friends” who sit on the couch and smoke marijuana all weekend, you may be wondering whether you can intervene on your kids’ behalf. Here are three things you can do if you are worried about your children’s safety during visitation or parenting time with your ex.
Any divorce attorney worth their salt will emphasize the importance of strategically planning for your Illinois divorce. Perhaps the most important phase of the entire divorce process, the planning stage begins with collecting accurate information and setting realistic expectations so you and your Illinois divorce attorney can work together as a team.
Before doing this, however, you actually need to pick an attorney - and with so many options, it can be overwhelming to choose which one is the best for you. Here is a list of five things you can bring to a divorce consultation to ensure you get the most information out of each meeting.
Perhaps the most important thing you can bring to your divorce consultation is the preparedness to be forthcoming. An attorney can only be helpful insofar as they truly understand your case. Experienced divorce lawyers have already seen the full gamut of reasons people get divorced, so there is no need to feel shame or try to hide facts. Tell the truth and give an attorney a chance to show you how they can help.
While same-sex marriage is now legal around the United States, the unfortunate reality is that LGBTQ couples can still face challenges during their divorce that straight couples do not. Because establishing parentage of a child of heterosexual parents is usually a matter of straightforward biology for both father and mother, establishing custody of a child is an easier process than it can be when a parent in an LGBTQ couple is not the biological parent of a child.
Of course, a biological parent-child relationship says nothing about the love a parent shares with a child or a parent’s commitment to caring for a child. But when it comes to Illinois law, a parent needs to have a legal relationship with a child to establish parental responsibilities; unfortunately, sometimes a child’s biological parent will try to use this against a non-biological parent in a divorce.
Illinois law has created statutory guidelines to determine what, if any, child support amount is appropriate in a given case, and every few years the guidelines are amended for inflation and political and social realities. While the majority of child support cases are decided using the guidelines, some cases require a more customized approach. If you are involved in a child support dispute, negotiation, or mediation, the help of an experienced Illinois family law attorney may be useful to you.
Common situations that may justify higher child support payments include, but are not limited to:
The child has a disability or ongoing health issue that requires costly treatment
Divorce is often a highly contentious affair, leaving both spouses with feelings of bitterness and resentment. While spouses usually share a last name during their marriage, they also usually change their name back to their premarital name after divorce. When spouses have hyphenated their names, or when a mother gets majority parenting time and the child has the father’s last name, there may be good reason for wanting to change the child’s last name as well. But changing a child’s last name after divorce is not an easy process. If you are divorced and interested in changing your child’s name, read on and then contact a Hinsdale family law attorney.
The law that encompasses whether a child’s last name may be changed is separate from the law that addresses divorce. Changing a child’s name is a civil procedure, and the law states that a court can only approve a child’s name change if there is a good enough reason - “clear and convincing evidence” showing that the name change would be in the child’s best interests is required.
Research shows that divorce is consistently ranked as one of the most traumatizing experiences a person can go through. While not all divorces are this challenging, for some people, divorce signals an end to a major part of their life. Even when divorce is absolutely the right decision, it can come with feelings of loss, guilt, and grief that can be hard to shake, even after a long time has passed since a divorce is finalized.
For some people, an effective way of managing the post-divorce blues is a divorce support group. A divorce support group can help you explore your challenges, identify whether certain problems are solvable, work towards acceptance and forgiveness, and create a realistic picture of what life looks like after divorce. Here are three other ways an Illinois divorce support group may be helpful to you.
An unfortunate feature of some divorces in Illinois is the tendency of parents to try to convince a judge that their child’s other parent is unfit for parental responsibilities or parenting time. Some parents are justified in their concerns - perhaps the other parent is neglecting the child, abusing the child, or using drugs or alcohol unsafely. Whether justified or not, a parent may ask a court to test their child’s other parent for drugs or alcohol. If you are being asked to take a drug test, or if you are wondering whether you can ask a judge to order your spouse to take a drug test, this blog may be helpful to you.
Once parents of a minor child have entered into a court-ordered divorce decree or parenting agreement, the requirements for child support payments are set in stone. Until the decree is modified, child support payments must be made even if the paying parent falls into difficult circumstances. If you are struggling to make child support payments and wondering whether you can petition a court for relief, read on and then contact an Illinois child support lawyer.
Generally speaking, a child support order can only be modified after three years have passed since it was issued. However, a “substantial change in circumstance” of the parent making payments may justify a modification before the three years are up. Examples of what may be considered a substantial change in circumstance include, but are not limited to:
Children often get less credit than they deserve for how resilient they are, even after traumatic life events like divorce. Although most children struggle during the divorce and may deal with some behavioral issues after the divorce is over, they can generally bounce back to their normal selves within a couple of years. Unfortunately, some children face coping challenges that are less easily overcome. If you have gotten divorced in Illinois and are wondering whether your child’s behavior may require professional help, read on.
Certain behavioral changes are normal during and after divorce, especially for a short time; depression, anxiety, and higher levels of stress can all manifest in many ways as children cope with the changes divorce brings. Symptoms may appear in the form of nightmares, eating disorders, difficulty falling or staying asleep, and unusually strong negative reactions to typical transitions.